Word Play - Games with Words and their Meanings

The following words were  the winners in a competition orgnised by the Washington Post, whose readers were invited to  take any  word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one  letter, and supply a new definition.:

1.  Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2.  Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3.  Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with..

4. Reintarnation :  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The  substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from  penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6.  Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte  : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10.  Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.):  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are  good for you.

13.. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit  (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're  eating.

In another category, competitors had to supply a new meaning for an existing word:

1.  Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6.  Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14 .  Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.

15 . Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.